I didn’t expect to learn more about fatherhood by crossing a border—but I did.
When the pandemic hit, it turned everyone’s lives in frenzy. Mostly everyone was looking for safety, but we were looking for a fresh start and stability. That search led us to Mexico, Ensenada to be exact, and what we expected was nothing like what we thought.
Port of Ensenada, Mexico
It was a major shift in routine, pace and perspective, a major shift on my fatherhood journey was just around the corner. I thought I was changing scenery, but what Mexico did was show me a much better way of being a dad all while slowing me down.
My days were unstructured and the family-oriented way of the Latin family shifted my perspective.
The mental shift of living in Ensenada was surreal, it wasn’t only about the food and the culture, but the rooted responsibilities of raising my boys, by myself in a brand new city to me was scary.
20 Interesting Facts About Mexico in 2024
Slowing Down Changed Everything
It was a drastic change of pace compared to what I was accustomed to, but I would surely welcome it. As a father who left the house every day and came in in the evening, this was about to change.
The Gift of Slower Living
My daily life was in slow motion in Ensenada, my wife worked as a travel nurse, so she would be gone days on end, so all the responsibility was shouldered on me.
This involved breakfast around 6 am and school for a quarter past 7, and lunch made for all three boys the night before. Dinner was sorted while they were at school, and cooked for two or so days.
The initial shock of having the boys to myself day in and day out was nothing short of jarring. But the part of relocation that was slightly overlooked was the language barrier. If nothing else in life tested my patience was this.
We enrolled them in a bilingual school where all the subjects were split evenly daily, Spanish and English. For the first year, it was chaos. It was not only homework and school assignments, it was also their friends parties and school trips not being attended or there about.
It’s not one’s fault but it was a very tough time for us as a family. The second year was was smoother sailing, it was a if it was their natural place of birth. I was so proud of them and jealous all at once.
Why you ask, my Spanish it was non-existent and I was struggling but they weren’t just surviving anymore. They were flourishing in all aspects of school and social life, and thay made me extremely proud.
I call them my Dandelion Children
Letting Go of Over-Scheduling
“When we plan, God laughs.”, That saying was made just for me, and that was now my way of life. Between school and sports, and making new friends, I was their chef, chauffeur, teacher, cleaner and stylist. All of which are full-time jobs in themselves.
Last-minute is was the name of the game, and most of the scheduling had a two-hour block, just incase.
Learning from Local Parents
There is something special about private schools and they demand all of your time, and as soon and you have a minute, they want that too.
Colegio Firenze, the school my kids attended, required quarterly projects—and I have to say these kids presented some imcredible work, or so I thought. The creativity and detail put into each one made it clear that parents weren’t just helping—they were the driving force behind the work.
Don’t get me wrong now, that is exactly how it should be. Taking pride is everything you do starts from a very young age and they were spot on.
That experience lit a fire in me—to do more, give more, and show up stronger not just in their education, but in every part of their lives. I couldn’t stand the thought of my boys being outshone without giving their all. It was time for me to level up as a dad, and we did it was. The comeback was glorious.
Family Is a Way of Life There
Everyday Togetherness
Seeing how involved the other parents were, I was inspired. The way they poured time and effort into their kids’ schoolwork made me realise something. I could not allow myself to only be a supportive and present dad, I needed to be intentional also.
It was not enough cheering from the sidelines. I had to tag myself in, and show them through actions that effort matters.
That shift came in a “presence over convenience” mindset. I carved out more time, even after recently launching my blog, BajaDad, and running two successful Airbnb’s.
This is one of our more regular hiking spots, looking over Ensenada from the north.
Quality Over Quantity
My old thought process was that spending time with the kids was good enough, but that won’t pass the smell test anymore. Fatherhood is about making the extra effort with full intention to be present and make memories.
Depending on each one’s situation, it’s easy to physically be near your children while your mind is elsewhere-work, stress, or the next task on your to-do list.
I love the change that allowed me to be truly in the moment with them.
The days that particularly stood out.
We filled our downtime with all kinds of activities—hitting the arcades, shooting pool, taking long drives, and visiting friends in nearby towns.
Living across from the beach, we took advantage of long walks on the sand while eating mixed fruit cups bought from the locals. We also took hikes, a lot of hikes, enjoying nature and the silence in brings when the boys aren’t arguing.
There wasn’t a screen in sight. No agenda. Just laughing, talking about random stuff, and enjoying the company of each other.
What Mexico Taught Me About Fatherhood
Since living in Mexico, I’ve had a more progressive look on fatherhood. This is what it looks like now:
- I listen more
- I yell less
- I play more
- I slow down
- I stay off my phone
- I ask better questions
Mexico didn’t just remind me how to be a better dad, it also showed me why it matters.
